About this time 2 years ago, I blamed myself for _____ ________. And for losing you. People made jokes about me and that’s what got me going. It totally took over me and now I’m in too deeep. I seriously don’t know who to go to, to talk to about this. One time led to more times and soon it became a chore. It was so simple, but now I’m worried, what will happen to me if I keep this up for another month another year or two? I’m hurting myself!! Fuck, I’m so dumb. I don’t I don’t I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!! I’m so sad because it’s getting worse, I want to tell my best friend but it’s not the same anymore, I don’t know how to approach her. I wanted to talk to my cousin about it, but I choked. Tina brought it up the other day and I avoided her questions and lied to her. WHO AM I?!?!?!?! lying is horrible. I feel so alone and I feel lost. I just want to cry from time to time. It’s weird because when it happens I feel nothing, but it’s the guilt that it leaves me after that makes me feel so stupid! HELPPPPP MEEE!!! ARGHHHH! call me someone! :’(

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